Dating Like Her: Why Being Self-Centered Is the New Self-Love

@hannaschonberg

Let’s set the record straight: being self-centered in dating isn’t toxic—it’s powerful. It’s not about being cold, arrogant, or dismissive. It’s about prioritizing you—your needs, your peace, your glow-up—without guilt or apology.

Because here’s the truth: when you put yourself first, you naturally attract better. You stop chasing emotionally unavailable men. You stop over-giving to prove you’re “good enough.” And you stop settling for crumbs when you know you’re the whole damn cake.

So, what does being self-centered actually look like in the dating world?

Let’s break it down.

1. You Don’t Chase — You Let Yourself Be Chosen

You’re not sending paragraphs trying to convince someone of your worth. You’re not chasing bare minimum energy. You’re simply observing. Let him pursue, let him initiate, let him match your vibe. And if he doesn’t? Cool. Next.

2. You Don’t Overgive to Prove You’re “Worthy”

You’re not playing the cool girl who does the most, expecting love in return. You’re no longer doing girlfriend-level things for someone who hasn’t earned that title. You give from overflow, not emptiness.

3. You Have Standards — And You Actually Stick to Them

You’ve written down your non-negotiables. You know what feels right and what feels off. And you don’t compromise your peace just to “see where it goes.” If it doesn’t align, you exit with grace.

4. You’re Not Afraid to Walk Away

The version of you who begged to be chosen? She’s gone. The new you is willing to leave anything that feels confusing, inconsistent, or unfulfilling. You know your worth. You’d rather be alone than badly loved.

5. You Focus on Your Life — Dating Is Just a Bonus

He’s not the goal. You are. Your fitness, your skincare routine, your money, your morning walks, your career glow-up—all of that matters more than waiting for a text back. You’re building a life you love, whether or not someone else shows up.

6. You Expect Reciprocity

You’re not carrying the relationship. You’re not the therapist, the planner, the emotional mule. You expect effort, emotional maturity, communication, and thoughtfulness—because you give that too.

7. You’re the Main Character, Not the Supporting Role

You’re not adjusting your entire schedule to accommodate a maybe. You’re not molding yourself to be “the one.” You’re living, glowing, and evolving—and if someone wants to be a part of that, they need to come correct.

The Glow-Up Girl Rule: Be Self-Centered Without Guilt

Choosing yourself is not selfish. It’s self-respect.
Loving yourself first is not a flaw—it’s the foundation.
And setting the tone for how you want to be treated? That’s high-value energy.

So from now on, you don’t shrink. You don’t chase. You don’t settle.
You date like a woman who knows she’s her—because you are.

Affirm This:

I am the main character in my love life.
I don’t chase, I attract.
My boundaries protect my peace.
I am not afraid to walk away from what doesn’t serve me.
I deserve love that feels safe, secure, and consistent.

TOOLS TO HELP YOU LEVEL UP JOURNEY👇